Alcohol & Drugs - Parental Denial

   About Lois
   Continuting Education

   Counseling Services
   Food & Drug Connection
   Drug Resistant Children
   Drug Testing
   Letting Go
   Meetings Calendar
   Parental Denial
   Recovery Diary
   Signs & Symptoms
   Support Groups

   Out of the Snare

   Client Comments

   Client Forms Index

   Consent Forms
   Auth Release of Info
   CC Authorization from Client
   Eating - Adolescent
   Eating - Adult
   HIPAA Privacy Notice
   Journey Group Client Info
   New Client Information
   New Adolescent - Profile
   New Adult - Profile
   Parental Waiver

   Resource Forms
   Activity Log
   Boundaries - PAD Formula
   Brain Connection
   Family of Origin
   Food Plan
   Foundational Needs
   Hokey Cheesy Model
   Meal Planning Worksheet
   Physical Spiritual Map
   Recovery Diary
   SMART Goal Progress Monitor

   Inventory Worksheets
   Anger Inventory
   Depression Inventory
   Fear Inventory
   Grief & Loss Inventory
   Resentment Inventory

   Contact Us


   Counseling Services
   Food & Drug Connection
   Food Plan
   Letting Go
   Meal Planning Worksheet
   Out of the Snare Seminar
   Parental Commitment
   Recovery Diary
   Signs & Symptoms
   Support Groups

   Experiential Therapy
   HealthRHYTHMS Drumming
   Journey to Freedom

   Freedom Statements
   Letting Go
   Serenity Prayer

   Counseling Services
   Letting Go
   Love & Logic Parent

   Food & Drug Connection
   Love and Logic Parent
   Out of the Snare Seminar
   Speaking Engagements

   Anorexia &/or Bulimia
   Over Eating &/or Binge

   Alcohol & Drugs
   Eating Disorders
   Local Meetings Calendar
   Journey Recovery Group
   Parenting Programs
   Codependency Support

ButterflyContact us




Just because you don’t think alcohol or drugs are contributing to the problems you’re having with your teen, don’t rule the possibility out! No matter how great a parent you are, you lack the objectivity to see your son’s situation clearly. If he actually does have a substance abuse problem, your denial will only make the problem worse. Regardless of your good intentions and steadfast love, are you absolutely positive you are not enabling your son to abuse drugs or alcohol?

One mom recently expressed the dilemma of many parents, “I don’t want to become paranoid about all the things my son could be doing and I certainly don’t want to unjustly accuse him. I really want to trust him, but what can I do to make sure I’m not in denial?”

Begin by recognizing that denial is a coping mechanism. It buffers you from being incapacitated by overwhelming emotional pain. Everything within your heart and soul longs for a bright and happy future for your son. Have you ever met a mother who rejoices at the prospect of drugs or alcohol consuming her child’s life? Have you ever met a father who holds a newborn son in his arms and aspires for that son to become a raging alcoholic? No, never!

So if your teen actually does venture down the substance abuse path, a barrier of denial automatically rises to protect you from experiencing the harsh pain of your vanishing hopes and dreams. You hold your breath, you look the other way and you pray this nightmare will soon be over. Unfortunately, as a way of life, continued denial only aids and abets your teen’s substance abuse and paves the way to addiction.

Your battle weapon against denial is rigorous honesty. What would an objective friend or neighbor conclude about your teen’s behavior? His friends? His appearance? His attitude? His demeanor? His academic functioning? His leisure activities? His relationship with you? Consider soliciting input from someone you trust who will be impartial, objective and honest with you. When put to the test of fire, which aspects of your son’s life pass through the heat unscathed? Which are causes of concern? And which, if any, stand out pleading for you to take note?

If you are supported in your conclusion that substance abuse is not a factor, then enjoy your teen, participate in his life and continue to hold him accountable and responsible! As a preventive measure, and for your own peace of mind, consider periodically reevaluating the situation, especially in the event of major changes or incidents in his life.

However, if the evidence actually supports your suspicion that drugs or alcohol are an issue, have the courage to move beyond the deceptive comfort of denial. Denial, both yours and your teen’s, will serve only to feed and nourish the insatiable monster of chemical dependency. Thirty percent of your recovery journey will actually be attained with the breaking and disempowerment of your denial.

Unfortunately, you cannot break through the armor of your son’s denial. But, thankfully, you can do a lot to chip away at it! As tough as it is for you, have the courage to hold your teen fully responsible for his own behavior. The sooner he learns that there are real world consequences resulting from his actions, the greater the odds that he will hit rock bottom, and turn from the drugs or alcohol to seek a healthier lifestyle for himself.

Allowing your teen to fully experience life on life’s terms when he is drinking or drugging may be one of the most difficult tasks you will ever encounter as a parent. No wonder the lure of denial looks so appealing! To add to the problem, denial will also try to convince you that you can handle this situation on your own. Nothing could be further from the truth. Role up your sleeves and declare war against your teen’s drug or alcohol problem by reaching out to receive the help and support of others.

Remember. You contribute to the problem when you are in denial. Come out of denial and you contribute to the solution!


For help dealing with parent/teen issues Contact Lois


Site Map Site Credits Copyright Lois Thomson-Bowersock. All Rights Reserved.